By L.B. (LeslieBeth) Wish, Ed.D, MSS
Top stressors in life include moving to a new location or becoming single again. The top challenges for women who are alone or new in town include:
- Afraid to go out alone socially
- Don’t like going to bars, but don’t know where else to go
- Blame themselves for being alone or anxious
- Have trouble adjusting to a new life without their partner
- Have trouble adjusting to a new town
But just because these life situations cause stress, they don’t have to overwhelm you.
Some Top Remedies
Be Kind to Yourself
Don’t be hard on yourself for having difficulties adjusting. Moving to a new place or losing a partner is highly stressful. Remind yourself that everyone deserves second chances. It’s normal for these life events to make you feel scared, but don’t let that stop you from getting out there.
Bring Along Your Comfort Zone
The best way to adjust to a new town is to maintain your desired routine. Make life in the new place as much like the desired parts of your old one. For example, if you like going to movies, specific events and the gym, then you should find a movie theater, activities and gym you like and start going to them. There’s no better way to get over the blues than to exercise. Gyms are great places to meet people. And when you attend favorite kinds of events, you bring along a comfort zone. Use this sense of comfort to calm your anxiety so that you can introduce yourself to a new person or two.
If you don’t like going to movies alone, then you can post a sign in the gym that you are starting a women’s movie club. Or, even better, go to the movie when you think women might be going alone such as during school hours. You’d be surprised how many women do go to movies alone during the day. Make a pact with yourself that you will speak to at least two women before you leave the movie theater.
Act Locally
Volunteer for an organization that means something to you. Volunteering is a great way to get to know your community and meet new people. Also consider getting involved in local politics.
Ask people at work or in your neighborhood for advice about where to eat, shop, etc. People love to give advice and feel valued. You might even meet your next new friend.
Subscribe to the local newspaper and find the community section for events that interest you. Again, make a pact to strike up a conversation with at least two people before you leave.
Contact the Chamber of Commerce and ask if there is a Welcome Wagon Committee or another organization to welcome newcomers. Attend Chamber meet and greet activities.
Activate a new part of you. Ask yourself, if I could start over where no one knew me, what would I do differently? New towns and big life changes are great opportunities to bring out these unexpressed parts of you.
