Introduction
Statistics have shown that the use of alcohol and other drugs is often directly connected to crime, incarcerations, domestic violence, child abuse, and problems related to work. Understandably, the primary focus of treatment and intervention has been on the person who has a problem with substances. However, there are far more people affected than just those persons with alcohol and other drugs problems. Fortunately, more attention is now being given to the serious impact substance misuse has on family members and significant others, who are also greatly impacted by the problem.
The Effect of Substance Use Disorders on Families
Families (including spouses, partners, children, siblings, and others who are connected to someone with a substance use problem) can be affected emotionally, physically, spiritually, and economically. Many family members live in a state of constant fear and uncertainty about what to do. Six skills are summarized below that can be useful to family members and significant others in learning new ways to address substance use problems in the family.
Six Skills for Families and Significant Others
Before reviewing the six skills it is important to note that whether a person with a substance use problem will seek help, stay in recovery, or relapse at some point is impossible to predict, as every individual is unique. Many times when families and significant others seek help first, the person with the substance use problem will follow, although there are no guarantees. Sometimes things can get worse before they get better and it is very important to always address any safety concerns immediately (see Skill #6)
Skill #1: Detach Yourself from the Problem
This can be the most difficult idea to understand at first. Sometimes people understand this to mean that we should walk away from our loved one. Actually, detaching yourself from the problem means that you should know that the person who is misusing alcohol or other drugs has the problem, not you. It is very important to understand this.
Skill #2: Set Limits, Roles and Boundaries
Many family members have done things that seemed as though they could help, but they actually made it easier for the person to continue misusing substances. Calling in sick for them, bailing them out of jail, etc. can actually make things worse by delaying the substance user from having to address their problem. Limits need to be set to stop doing things that make it easier for a person to continue misusing substances.
Skill #3: Solidify Your Position – Know Where You Stand
As the substance abuser begins to see changes in the other family members, he or she may become irritable, angry, or hostile. By deciding on a position and sticking to it, family members will help the addicted person begin to learn that there is a new way that things are going to be handled. This is good for everybody– the person with the problem and the family. Consistency is essential.
Skill #4: Support Sobriety
There are many ways to support sobriety – to clearly let the person know that you are there for them in the recovery process. Compliments about positive change, bringing them to or picking them up from Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous meetings, etc., and other support groups, participating in family therapy, and asking the person about their progress, are all examples of ways to support sobriety.
Skill # 5: Simplify Your Approach by Setting Small Goals
Those working towards recovery must set small goals like "One Day at a Time." The same is true for families. A good goal is a small goal. Indeed families can become very overwhelmed and it is important to step back and set one small goal just for today. For example, instead of setting a goal to attend Al-Anon meetings regularly, set a goal to attend one meeting on a specific day this week. Likewise, instead of a goal to take better care of yourself, set aside a specific amount of time today to go to a park and spend some time walking or sitting quietly.
Skill #6: Sustain Your Physical, Mental, and Spiritual Health
A person's physical, mental, and/or spiritual health may all be negatively affected when they misuse substances. The same often happens to those who care about that person. Eating properly, getting exercise, taking breaks, and addressing any spiritual needs are all examples of things that family members should do to take care of themselves. Taking care of your personal needs is a must, and this also includes any safety concerns such as domestic violence or child abuse. It is critical that if there is an unsafe situation, you may have to leave the situation immediately or contact law enforcement for assistance to help remove others, such as children, from the unsafe situation.
Conclusion
Researchers have found that when family members are involved and supportive of individuals with substance use problems who are seeking treatment, the likelihood of success is improved. Not only can family members work towards making things better for themselves, but they can increase the chances of the person achieving recovery.
Many times we start to see changes in the person with an addiction history when they enter treatment. Their mood, eating patterns, appearance, or friends may change. They may also reduce or stop going to 12-Step meetings or counseling sessions. These can be the initial signs of relapse, which may be seen first in the home. As noted in the first skill, relapse is not a problem for which we are responsible, but we can support a person's sobriety (Skill #4) by providing feedback to them about the changes we see.
Having a loved one who is misusing substances can cause families to feel angry and fearful. The best antidote is to address what is going on. Staying alert and on-track is important.
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To read more articles by Dr. Ligon on this subject, please go to http://chhs.gsu.edu/socialwork/sixstepsligon.asp.
Related Articles:
- About Addictions
- Addiction Treatment Current Trends
- Addictions: Your Options for Care
- Addictions: How Social Workers Help
- Addition Tip Sheets
- Addiction Resources
- Addiction Real Life Stories
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Thank you,
Great inf. specially to provide to families as hand out.