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Posts Tagged ‘
tips ’
Introduction
During these times of national tension over weather emergencies, terrorism, and war, we often see emergency hotlines set up to handle questions and offer support. These hotlines are resources that can prove invaluable both on a personal level and in obtaining access to resources that people may need in these very uncertain times. A hotline can assist with referrals or simply offer much needed emotional support when anxiety, depression, anger, grief, loneliness and fear are at their highest.
You can often find hotlines or crisis lines listed in the phone book or on the Internet. Many times these numbers are posted on the television or broadcast on the radio. It is important that you call an organization you can trust, and one that best fits your comfort level and particular need. It is helpful to write down your questions or concerns prior to making the call. This will help you organize your thoughts, save time, and avoid the necessity to call back.
Once you have decided to call, have a paper and pencil handy to write down notes to help you remember needed information or cope better with the event. You can also then create a list of additional phone numbers the hotline worker gives you of other resources to help you deal with the crisis. Be patient and prepared to wait. Many calls may be coming into the center, but it is important that you stay on the line. Have your radio and television turned off or volume down so you will have full concentration.
Who is on the other end? A reputable hotline will be staffed with trained people. Often they are social workers who are equipped to handle a variety of questions and emergencies. They are a quick and ready resource to help you cut through unnecessary red tape. The person at the other end of the line should be friendly, courteous, and caring. They know that it is a sign of strength to ask for help, not weakness. More importantly, they will listen. A good hotline worker doesn't just talk or give advice. They also know when to be quiet and just listen. They know this is your story and it is sacred as well as confidential. Often, the mere telling of your story is both healing and motivating.
You should not be asked personal information such as your name, address, social security number, phone number, etc. Neither should you be asked for money or a contribution. Do not give out credit card information. In certain life and death emergencies you might be asked for your name, address, and phone number, so that emergency response teams may locate you. However, in general this will not be the case.
You have a right to this assistance, and to expect a courteous and efficient response. You have a right to ask for the qualifications of the person answering your call. If you are talking to a licensed social worker, you have the right to ask their name and their state license number. If you are not happy with the person you are talking to, don't give up. Ask to be transferred to another person or simply call back.
After you hang up, take a moment to organize your thoughts once again. Try to relax, knowing that there are people out there who care and are trying to help you. You are not alone. Call any other numbers provided to you by the hotline staff. Don't quit. Don't give up. If you hit a snag or get disconnected, call the hotline back.
Your call is important. It is the appropriate action in a time of deep uncertainty. Nothing is trivial or stupid at these times, and will not be treated as such. You do not have to be an adult to make this call. These services are available to everyone regardless of circumstances or age. Most hotlines are a toll free call. There is never a need to go it alone. A helping hand is there – take it.
Tags: crisis hotline, disasters, emergencies, Fred W. Franck, social worker, tips
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Introduction
Here are two articles on how social workers help in the adoption and foster care arenas. The first is a general description of how social workers assist adoptive and foster care parents. The second is a first-person narrative of a social worker based in Washington, DC who works in the foster care system.
Tags: adoption, birth parents, child, families, foster care, help, legal state, process, resources, social workers, tips, trends
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Introduction
Problem gambling is gambling that causes problems in a person’s life. A person whose gambling is out of control may feel their situation is hopeless, but the good news is that problem gambling is considered a very treatable disorder. There are highly educated social workers with specialized training in gambling addiction that individuals can turn to for help.
This list of gambling addiction warning signs is provided by The Problem Gamblers Help Network of West Virginia.
- Talks only about wins, not losses.
- Gambles more often, for longer periods, for more money.
- Hides gambling losses from family members.
- Lies about gambling directly or by omission.
- Uses gambling as a means to cope.
- Gambles in spite of negative consequences, such as large losses or family problems.
- Has unexplained absences of household or personal items.
- Withdraws from friends or family.
- Started gambling with groups but now gambles alone.
- Gets bored if not gambling, i.e., says there is nothing else to do.
- Uses gambling as primary form of recreation and socialization.
- Has unsuccessful attempts to cut back or quit.
- Borrows money from friends and family.
- Is unable to meet living expenses previously met.
- Depletes financial reserves: Cashing in savings, retirement, pensions, 401K, IRA's and insurance plans to get money to gamble.
- Gambles on credit: credit cards, bank loan, second mortgages, "kiting" checks.
Remember, there is hope and help available. For more information visit The Problem Gamblers Help Network of West Virginia and The National Council on Problem Gambling.
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Introduction
According to the American Cancer Society about half of all Americans who continue to smoke will die because of the habit. Each year, about 438,000 people die in the United States from tobacco use. Nearly one of every five deaths in this country is related to smoking. Cigarettes kill more Americans than alcohol, car accidents, suicide, AIDS, homicide, and illegal drugs combined.
Fortunately there are many excellent resources available for people who want to quit smoking as well as information on how to help someone else give up cigarettes. Some services are offered free of charge while others, such as individual therapy, may have a cost involved. The goal is to find the resource that works best for you! Although the following list may not include all available resources, it can offer a starting point for anyone seeking more information on how to end tobacco dependence.
One should also consider using multiple resources, such as health professional(s) along with other types of assistance, such as support groups and Internet smoking cessation sites (described below). According to guidelines developed by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services treatment for tobacco dependence should include practical counseling, social support as part of the treatment, and social support outside of treatment to increase the chances of quitting.
Phone Quit Lines:
- Individuals who call this National Quitline number will be forwarded to their state's quitline for cessation services: 1-800 QUIT-NOW (1-800-784-8669).
- Speak with a counselor at National Cancer Institute Smoking Quitline: 1-877-44U-QUIT (1-877-448-7848).
Internet Websites:
- The Office on Smoking and Health at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention provides information for quitting both smoking and smokeless tobacco: www.cdc.gov/tobacco
- The Database & Educational Resource for Treatment of Tobacco Dependence site offers information on the treatment of tobacco dependence: www.treatobacco.net/home/home.cfm
- National Cancer Institute – Get advice and download cessation information for smoking and smokeless tobacco: www.smokefree.gov/.
- American Lung Association provides tobacco related information and the web-based smoking cessation program Freedom From Smoking® Online: www.lungusa.org
- The National Institute on Drug Abuse provides information on nicotine and addiction: www.nida.nih.gov/DrugPages/Nicotine.html
- For information on children and tobacco, visit the National Center for Tobacco-Free Kids site: www.tobaccofreekids.org
- See the National Cancer Institute site for specific topics on tobacco: www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/tobacco
- See Healthy People 2010 for tobacco related information in your state: http://www.healthypeople.gov/
Local Community Support:
- Nicotine Anonymous – Find a meeting: Phone: (415) 750-0328 or www.nicotine-anonymous.org/
- American Lung Association community-based group support – To locate where Freedom From Smoking® classes are being held in your community call 1-800-LUNGUSA.
Insurance Coverage and Tobacco Cessation:
This year the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) announced it will provide insurance coverage of smoking and other tobacco use cessation to help senior citizens quit the habit. This coverage will pay for a limited number of counseling sessions including sessions led by social workers.
Many insurance companies do not pay the costs for tobacco cessation treatment. However, now that Medicare is providing reimbursement for smoking cessation, other insurance companies may follow their lead.
Contact your insurance company to learn if coverage is provided for Nicotine Replacement Therapy (NRT) and/or prescription medications for tobacco cessation.
Other Resources – Professional Help
- Primary Care or Specialist Physician. Talk to your physician about concerns regarding tobacco use and advice on how to quit. Many Primary Care Physicians and Specialist Physicians are offering treatment for tobacco dependence in their office.
- You can also visit the American Academy of Family Physicians site for information on quitting tobacco: www.familydoctor.org
- Dentists. Your dentist can provide information on how smoking affects the gums, mucus lining, and oral cavity area in the mouth.
- You can visit the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Researcher's National Oral Health Information Clearinghouse for information on smokeless tobacco: www.nohic.nider.nih.gov/
- Tobacco Addiction Specialists. Clinical Social Workers are among the professionals who specialize in treating tobacco addiction. Social workers who are qualified and specialize in tobacco addiction and cessation can:
- Evaluate the need for medications to help with tobacco cessation.
- Identify behaviors that must change in order to maintain long-term abstinence from tobacco.
- Address the emotional and psychological reasons for tobacco use.
- Provide more intensive treatment for individuals who want more than brief cessation counseling.
- Offer combined treatment for tobacco cessation with treatment for other forms of addiction and/or mental illness.
- Offer individual, group, or family counseling.
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Tags: cigarettes, get help, Linda M. Guhe, Phone Quit Lines, professional help, quitting, resources, Support, tips, tobacco, websites
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Introduction – Nicotine Addiction
You may wonder, "If it is so damaging to health, why do so many people continue or even begin to smoke or chew tobacco?" Although many understand tobacco use as a "habit," the nicotine in tobacco products is actually a strong addictive drug. Nicotine produces changes in brain chemistry that lead to changes in mood and behavior. The idea that tobacco use is a "habit" stems from the fact that the behaviors associated with tobacco become "habitual."
After entering the lungs, nicotine from inhaled smoke enters into the blood stream and quickly travels to the brain. Nicotine from smokeless tobacco enters the bloodstream through the mucus lining of the mouth.
There are two ways in which tobacco use leads to physiological nicotine addiction and dependency:
- Nicotine produces a relaxing effect, increases mental alertness, and lifts a person's mood. In order to maintain these positive feelings (rewards) the brain begins to rely on nicotine. Over time, however, more and more nicotine is needed to produce the same level of pleasurable effects.
Nicotine is a "positive reinforcement" in that consumption leads to positive feelings and mood. The tobacco user becomes dependent on nicotine to get the desired positive effects.
- If a person decreases his or her use of cigarettes, nicotine levels in the blood stream drop. Lower levels of nicotine cause negative withdrawal symptoms like anxiety, irritability, and difficulty concentrating.
When a person is undergoing withdrawal symptoms due to a drop in the nicotine level in their blood, smoking becomes a "negative reinforcement" because it temporarily relieves or removes the painful uncomfortable symptoms of withdrawal. Tobacco users become dependent on nicotine to avoid unpleasant withdrawal symptoms.
Tobacco dependence is complex and affects the user psychologically, emotionally, socially, and behaviorally.
- Psychological: Tobacco is often used to cope with emotions and conflict. The pleasurable feelings induced by tobacco can cover and numb feelings and emotions associated with grief, loss, and mourning. Stressful situations or emotionally upsetting events can act as triggers to use tobacco. Nicotine also increases concentration
- Social: Tobacco is often used to cope with uncertainty and/or awkwardness in social situations. People who smoke usually feel comfortable with others who smoke. For example, employees often gather during work breaks. It provides a time for social interaction and acceptance. Tobacco users also share asocial stigma from non-smokers. A social culture of rituals and shared experience in tobacco users develops that centers on tobacco.
- Behavior: Once addicted, a belief develops that tobacco is needed in order to function effectively. The belief can become so strong that the reality of the harm tobacco has on the body is denied or ignored. A compulsive pattern of unhealthy behaviors centered on tobacco use develops in response to stress and strong emotions, and as a way to avoid symptoms of nicotine withdrawal.
Certain behaviors become "associated" with the effects of nicotine in the brain, creating a strong connection between specific behaviors and the physiological addiction. For example, after quitting, the automatic behavior of reaching for a pack of cigarettes or can of chewing tobacco in reaction to stress can trigger the brain to "crave" nicotine.
Over time, tobacco users rely more and more on nicotine to regulate mood and concentration. Healthy and even invigorating approaches to lift mood, cope with stress, and anger are abandoned or never learned. Tobacco users are cheated of opportunities to learn creative ways to cope.
At What Age Does Tobacco Use and Addiction Usually Begin?
Most tobacco use begins during adolescence. In fact, tobacco addiction specialists call smoking a "pediatric disease" because most tobacco use begins in childhood and adolescence. About 5,000 adolescents a day experiment with smoking. Of that number, approximately 2,000 will go on to become addicted to tobacco.
One-third of adolescents who become addicted to tobacco will eventually die from a smoking-related disease. Smoking at a young age also leads to serious impairments in physical health. Cigarette smoking in adolescence leads to increased lung-related illnesses, decreases in physical fitness, and decreased levels of lung function.
Teenagers are often eager to be adults. Tobacco use may be a way to rebel against dependence on parents and other adults. Smoking may be a result of internalized sports and movie star celebrity role models. For example, smoking and other forms of tobacco use may be connected for males with strength and masculinity. For females, smoking may be associated with being sexy and strong.
Other reasons teenagers take up smoking include peer pressure and wanting to belong. Adolescence can be a time of uncertainty and ambivalence because of no longer being a dependent child, yet not quite an independent adult either. The rituals involved with tobacco use are sometimes used by adolescents to guide them about what to do and how to act in social situations.
For many adolescents, mainly females, weight control plays a large role in tobacco use. Girls feel cultural and societal pressure to be slim and sleek. Often, the addiction to tobacco becomes tied to eating disorders and frantic attempts to maintain alarmingly low body weight.
Low self-esteem and depression can also lead to vulnerability to tobacco use. Strong emotions and identify confusion add to a sense of susceptibility. Tobacco becomes a way to cope with stress and can become a very part of a person's identity. While the reasons adolescents begin tobacco use vary, the reason they become dependent on tobacco is directly tied to nicotine addiction.
Today, there are committed and dedicated advocates fighting to protect children and adolescents from the dangers of tobacco and tobacco smoke. There are also tobacco addiction specialists promoting and encouraging tobacco cessation. Concerned parents, loved ones, educators and others interested in the well-being of children, adolescents, and others they care about, can find local and national resources and help.
References:
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Tags: addiction, dependency, Linda M. Guhe, nicotine, physiological, tips, tobacco, understanding
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Introduction
- Here are some interesting facts about the illness:
- It is estimated that more than 2.7 million Americans now have schizophrenia. There are more Americans with schizophrenia than there are residents of North Dakota and Wyoming combined.
- One of every hundred Americans will fall victim to schizophrenia.
- Three-quarters of persons with schizophrenia develop the illness between 16 and 25 years of age. Initial onset before age 14 and after age 30 is unusual.
- Schizophrenia is not the same as “split personality.” The illness depicted in The Three Faces of Eve” and “Sybil” is multiple personality disorder, or dissociative disorder — different from schizophrenia.
- Perhaps the most familiar symptoms of schizophrenia are hallucinations and delusions. Three-quarters of all persons with schizophrenia have these symptoms, although not all people who exhibit these symptoms have schizophrenia.
- The most common form of hallucinations are auditory experiences such as “voices.” Other forms of hallucinations include visions that cannot be externally validated, or certain perceptions of touch, smell or taste.
- Another “mistaken belief’ of a person with schizophrenia is a paranoid delusion in which a person may feel that he or she is being persecuted, when there is no basis for this in reality. Examples include a mistaken belief that the FBI or CIA is tapping one’s phone or that the Mafia is arranging for a hit man to “put one away.”
- Sometimes persons with schizophrenia have “delusions of grandeur” in which they may believe that they are exalted persons, such as Jesus or Moses, or that they have been given some special message for humanity.
- Studies have indicated that 25 percent of those having schizophrenia recover completely, 50 percent are improved over a ten-year period, and 25 percent do not improve over time. Recent advances in medication treatment have decreased the percentage of people who previously were deemed as unimproved.
- Scientists do not have unanimous agreement as to the cause of schizophrenia. Evidence indicates that the brains of persons with schizophrenia, as a group, are different than those who do not have the illness, and persons with schizophrenia have an overabundance of the brain chemical dopamine.
- By far the most effective treatments to date for schizophrenia are antipsychotic medications. Studies indicate that these drugs are highly effective for 70 percent of persons with schizophrenia.
- More mental health hospital beds are occupied by persons with schizophrenia than any other illness.
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In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, many Americans, especially those affected first hand, are trying to cope with the horrendous aftermath and others want to respond in some way to help survivors. This tip sheet offers practical advice for dealing with this high profile natural disaster, whether you are on the frontlines or helplessly watching from your home.
Most of us, at some time or another, have witnessed traumatic events, either in person or vicariously through television, newspapers, and other media outlets.
Here are some general tips on how to begin the healing process:
- Turn Off the Television. Constant repetition of traumatic events and reactions can increase the experience of trauma. Tune in enough to know what is happening in the world, but release yourself from the grip of repetitive traumatic presentations. Make sure children have limited and supervised exposure to the media coverage, as the repetitive pictures and stories can easily overwhelm and traumatize children.
- Talk to Others. Trauma can affect us more deeply when we isolate ourselves. We may do best if we keep share our feelings and thoughts with one another.
- Let Your Feelings Out. There is no shame in having grief, fear, rage, and sorrow. We have reason to feel these feelings. It may be best to let ourselves feel them and to reveal them to people we trust.
- Take Care of Yourself. Be kind to yourself during a traumatic time when rage is the rule of the day. Allow time for rest, for calm, and for comfort to re-enter your life. This may be a challenge at first, but deliberate attention to self-care will help you have the energy to help others.
- Allow Yourself to Find a Peaceful Core Within Yourself. Take time to slow down, rest, and let your emotional reactions settle. Let your attention go within. We each have a place within from which we derive strength and where we know what is true, what is right, and what we need to do. Find that place of strength within yourself.
- Here Is the Challenge: The Atmosphere of Rage and Fear. After traumas occur, many people experience the "fight or flight" instinct. On a collective level, these forces can unleash more trauma if not held in check by compassion, reason, caution, and understanding. Do not unintentionally take out your hurt and rage on others who happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Here is how we may change the traumatic responses of fear and rage to support our lives:
- Let your fear tell you what you treasure. We fear for ourselves and our loved ones, for all of what we love, and the lives we live everyday. Give support and love to the people and things that matters most to you.
- Let your anger fuel your support of what you care about. Anger is a force that we can use to support action toward what we love.
- Let your anger, pain, and fear bring us together as a world. We may allow our pain and fear and rage to continue to tear us apart, or we may recognize that we are all in pain, in rage, and in fear, and we all want what is precious to us to survive.
- Persistent reexperiencing of the traumatic event - for example, flashbacks, nightmares, or recurring and constant images;
- Persistent avoidance of stimulation associated with the trauma - such as avoiding people or places or images associated with the trauma;
- Numbing of general responsiveness – such as loss of feelings of love, connection, or any feelings at all; and
- Persistent symptoms of increased arousal – such as hyper-alertness, easily startled, and/or irritability.
These symptoms or stress reactions may arise just from exposure to this catastrophe, or they may arise from the triggering of previous public or personal traumas you may have experienced. If the symptoms persist, you may wish to see a mental health professional, especially one trained in treating trauma. The American Red Cross is just one national organization coordinating emergency mental health as well as a national disaster response to Hurricane Katrina. For more information, please log onto www.redcross.org or www.socialworkers.org to find mental health and disaster response services.
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Tags: behaviors, fear, grief, hurricane Katrina, loss, Lynn Hagan, post-traumatic, ptsd, rage, recovery, symptoms, tips
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Introduction
Excessive worries that consume a person's thinking and interfere with their everyday lives are called “obsessions.” They can include uninvited thoughts, urges, or images that appear in the mind over and over again.Often people with obsessions will try to reduce or suppress their obsessions by acting out certain rituals, or specific ways of doing things. For example, a person who is obsessed with dirty hands may believe if he washes his hands and get them clean, he will be able to stop thinking about having dirty hands. Often the obsessive thoughts don’t stop and sometimes these rituals may last for hours.Another example of a common obsession is repeatedly checking to see if the stove is off. When people act on their obsessions, their rituals are called “compulsions.” Thoughts are obsessions and actions compulsions.
When obsessions and compulsions get out of control and begin to interfere with the person's day-to-day functioning, it is called an Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder or OCD. People with OCD usually know that their obsessions are creations of their own minds, but are unable to control or ignore them. Likewise they often know that their compulsions are unwarranted, yet they are similarly unable to refrain from doing them.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is an anxiety disorder that affects about one adult in 40 worldwide and affects men and women at an equal rate. OCD usually begins gradually and most individuals who suffer from the disorder will develop symptoms in adolescence or early adulthood.
The main symptoms of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder are recurrent obsessions or compulsions that interfere with a person’s life. The symptoms:
- Take up more than one hour a day or
- Cause marked distress or significant impairment.
At some point, the person is likely to become aware that the obsessions and/or compulsions are excessive or unreasonable, and they may feel ashamed and try to hide them from others.
- Fear of contamination (such as fear of dirt, germs, body fluids or diseases)
- Repeated doubting (such as whether the stove is turned off )
- Focus on exactness and order
- Preoccupation with religious images and thoughts or fear of having blasphemous thoughts
- Fear of harming oneself or others
- Fear of blurting out obscenities in public
- Forbidden or unwanted sexual thoughts, images, or urges.
- Cleaning/washing (washing hands too often, cleaning household
items or other objects)
- Checking (repeatedly checking something, i.e. paperwork, for mistakes)
- Ordering/arranging (repeatedly making sure objects are in a certain order)
- Hoarding (collecting seemingly useless items)
- Mental rituals, such as excessively counting or repeating words.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder appears to be caused by a combination of psychological, biological, and genetic factors.
- People may associate certain objects or situations with fear (thus the obsession) and either avoid the things they fear or perform rituals that help reduce the fears (the compulsion).
- Research shows a link between OCD and insufficient levels of the brain chemical serotonin (a neurotransmitter that plays a role in regulation of mood, aggression, impulse control, sleep, appetite, body temperature and pain).
- Researchers have also found that people with OCD appear to have greater than usual activity in areas of the brain that may be involved in controlling feelings and actions.
- Appears to run in families
- Genes involved in regulating serotonin may be passed on through generations
- Counseling (cognitive-behavioral therapy is the most common)
- Medication (usually antidepressant medication; sometimes anti-anxiety medication)
- Group therapy (with people who have similar concerns) can also help.
- Support Groups.
While therapy and medications can help reduce the symptoms of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, the process of recovery, like the onset of the illness, is gradual and ongoing. Continuing with treatment, even when symptoms have improved, can help maintain health and prevent relapse.
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the writer, and do not necessarily reflect those of the National Association of Social Workers or its members.
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Introduction
It amazes me that most people decide to end their marriages without seeking professional help. The decision of whether to divorce or not is probably one of the most important decision anyone will ever make. Yet, the fact remains that only a minority of people in the throes of marital problems consult marriage therapists.
Truth be told, seeking professional advice for your marital problems is no guarantee things will improve. In fact, many people have told me that their so-called marriage therapy even made things worse. Most therapists are well meaning, but not always qualified to do marital therapy. That's why I want to offer some guidelines for you to consider should you seek professional help to improve your marriage.
Verify the Therapist’s Training and Licensure
Make sure your therapist has received specific training and is experienced in marital therapy. Marital therapists must be licensed/certified in their state of practice.
Too often, therapists say they do couples therapy or marital therapy if they have two people sitting in the office. This is incorrect. Marital therapy requires very different skills than doing individual therapy. Individual therapists usually help people identify and process feelings. They assist them in achieving personal goals.
Couples therapists, on the other hand, need to be skilled at helping people overcome the differences that naturally occur when two people live under the same roof. They need to know what makes marriage tick. A therapist can be very skilled as an individual therapist and be clueless about helping couples change. For this reason, don't be shy. Ask your therapist about his or her training and experience.
Find a Therapist Who Wants to Help You Save Your Marriage
Make sure your therapist is biased in the direction of helping you find solutions to your marital problems rather than helping you leave your marriage when things get rocky. Feel free to ask him or her to give you a ballpark figure about the percentage of couples he or she works with who leave with their marriages intact and are happier as a result of therapy. Although your therapist may not have a specific answer, his or her reaction to your question will speak volumes.
You should feel comfortable and respected by your therapist. You should feel that he or she understands your perspective and feelings. If your therapist sides with you or your spouse, that's not good. No one should feel ganged up on. If you aren't comfortable with something your therapist is suggesting- like setting a deadline to make a decision about your marriage- say so. If your therapist honors your feedback, that's a good sign. If not, leave.
The therapist's own values about relationships definitely plays a part in what he or she does and is interested in when working with you. Since there are few universal rules for being and staying in love, if your therapist insists that there is only one way to have a successful marriage, find another therapist.
Also, although some people think that their therapists are able to tell when a person should stop trying to work on their marriage, therapists really don't have this sort of knowledge. If they say things like, "It seems that you are incompatible," or "Why are you willing to put up with this?" or "It is time to move on with your life," they are simply laying their own values on you. This is an unethical act, in my opinion.
Set Concrete Goals and Never Lose Sight of Them
Make sure you (and your partner) and your therapist set concrete goals early on. If you don't, you will probably meet each week with no clear direction. Once you set goals, you should never lose sight of them. If you don't begin to see some progress within two or three sessions, you should address your concern with your therapist.
It's my belief that couples in crisis don't have the luxury to analyze how they were raised in order to find solutions to their marital problems. If your therapist is focusing on the past, suggest a future-orientation. If he or she isn't willing to take your lead, find a therapist who will.
Know that most marital problems are solvable. Don't let your therapist tell you that change is impossible. Human beings are amazing and they are capable to doing great things- especially for people they love.
Most of all trust your instincts. If your therapist is helping, you'll know it. If he or she isn't, you'll know that too. Don't stay with a therapist who is just helping you tread water. Find one who will help you swim.
Use Word-of-Mouth to Find a Good Therapist
Finally, the best way to find a good therapist is word-of-mouth. Satisfied customers say a lot about the kind of therapy you will receive. Although you might feel embarrassed to ask friends or family for a referral, you should consider doing it anyway. It increases the odds you'll find a therapist who will really help you and your spouse.
So don't give up on therapy, give up on bad therapy. You be the judge. There's a lot to be gained from seeking the advice of a third party who can help you find simple solutions to life's complicated problems. Happy divorce busting!
2002 Copyright – Michele Weiner-Davis. All rights reserved.
To read more articles by Michele Weiner-Davis on marriage and divorce, go to www.divorce.busting.com.
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The opinions expressed in this article are those of the writer, and do not necessarily reflect those of the National Association of Social Workers or its members.
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