A friend one day confides that she’s considering “ending it all.”  That her life has become so terribly unbearable, there is no reason to go on. After the initial shock, your first reaction may be to shrug off the suicide threat and assure the friend that her life really isn’t so bad after all.

Don’t.

Trying to convince someone that they have everything to live for may only increase their feelings of guilt and hopelessness. If someone tells you they are thinking about suicide, even casually or in jest, pay attention! No suicide threat should be dismissed or taken lightly.

Signs to watch for

People might drop hints, speak outright of their desire, or exhibit certain behaviors. These may be:

• a preoccupation with death;
• a loss of interest in things they ordinarily cared about;
• visiting or phoning loved ones;
• making arrangements or setting one’s life in order;
• giving away prized possessions;
• comments about hopelessness, helplessness or worthlessness; and
• daring or risk-taking behavior.

What Can You Do?

Be direct. As uncomfortable as it might be, talk openly and matter of factly to the person about suicide and be prepared to listen in a non-judgmental way. Pose direct questions, for example, does the person have a plan?

Try not to act shocked, as this will only place distance between you and the person.

Above all, do not swear to secrecy.

This is a time when you need support. Trust your instincts that something is terribly wrong and that the person may be in deep trouble. Reassure them that help is available, depression is treatable and suicidal feelings are temporary. Urge them to contact a social worker or other mental health professional, a community mental health agency, a family doctor, a school psychologist or counselor.

The decision to commit suicide is quite often a desire to stop suffering. Never give up on someone just because he or she tells you he’s made up his or her mind.

What If The Threat Is Immediate?

Call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. (Para ayuda en español, llame al 988.)

Call 911 in life-threatening situations.

The Veterans Crisis Line connects service members and veterans in crisis, as well as their family members and friends, with qualified Department of Veteran’s Affairs (VA) responders through a confidential toll-free hotline, online chat, or text messaging service. Dial 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1 to talk to someone or send a text to 838255 to connect with a VA responder.  You can also start a confidential online chat session at Veterans Crisis Chat.

If possible, remove or hide any potentially dangerous items, such as pills, firearms and other weapons, even belts and ropes.

If you are worried about a friend’s social media updates, you can contact safety teams at the social media company. They will reach out to connect the person with the help they need.

Resources

• SAVE Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
• American Association of Suicidology
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
• National Mental Health Association

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