Introduction
Talking to a child about your cancer can be a very frightening and upsetting experience for you both. Here are some practical tips to help to your child understand what is happening during this difficult time.
- Give your children accurate, age-appropriate information about cancer. Don’t be afraid to use the word “cancer” and tell them where it is in the body.
- Explain the treatment plan and what this will mean to them (for example, Dad will bring you to soccer practice instead of Mom).
- Prepare your children for any physical changes you might encounter throughout treatment.
- Comfort your children by explaining that no matter how they have been behaving, they did not do anything to cause the cancer. Explain that they cannot “catch” cancer like they can catch a cold.
- Let your children know about other members of the support system, including your partner, relatives, friends, clergy, teachers, coaches, and your health care team.
- Allow your children to participate in your care by giving them age-appropriate tasks such as bringing a glass of water or reading to you.
- Encourage your children to have feelings and to express their feelings, even ones that are uncomfortable.
- Assure your children that their needs are still important and that they will be cared for, even if you can’t always provide that care directly.
- Spend your energy communicating with your children. Understand what they are asking, and make sure they understand what you are saying.
- As always, show them lots of love and affection. Let them know that although things are different, your love for them has not changed.
- Source: Cancercare News, Volume 37, Jan/Feb/Mar/April 2003.
